The Beach

Went to Desaru Beach yest with my sis fam and my bro-in-law's bro's fam. It was fun. But again not so fun. I want my mum. I really want my mum. I miss her. I miss home. I miss dad. I miss sch. I miss everything. So much. Ever since then, i've been feelin so messed up, so unorganized. All i wanna do is cry. I dont know why. Honestly, i think all i want is to go home...

Birthday!

16 Dec. My birthday. Well it IS a nice day. It should be. Celebrated in Msia this yr. For the celebration, my bro-in-law bought KFC for all of us, for me :D After lunch, we went to TESCO to find my bday cake. I chose yummy Choc Mousse when I actually want Angry Birds :P Aft that, we walked ard and the kids, my nephews and niece, went to look for bday gifts for me. Heheh. I got Pen Set with Keychain, Cat-Pendant Necklace and a table decor. Longgg before my bday, my sis and bro bought me a bball ball for my bday :P hehehe. I did have a nice bday. Still have 4 slices of cake remaining :D

Home, No Home

Mum and dad went back home in Singapore. Now, I have to stay here for almost 1month. I guess my hw and school preps wont be ready before school reopens. But no matter what i say, these people dont think the same way as me. Why? Cus they dont have anyone thay goes to sch now. Hais.

Depressed!

Ahhhh! We're gonna finally have some fun today. All of us are going to Ulu Tiram Waterpark. But..... Badluck for me! A thousand badlucks! I just cant stop thinking of it and thus thinking of it made me more depressed! I just dont know whatta do now! Ergh -.-

Holiday~

Now, Im at msia. Holiday-ing at my sis house. Gonna enjoy. Needa enjoy. Holidays are so bored nowadays :/ gonna go to the hotel and enjoy th cool water of th swimming pool. Looking forward to it :D

Upset

I dont kmow what to say. I dont know what to do. All but 1 thought left my mind. Death. Death is all I can think about. I simply wanna die. She hates me so much. I can never do anything right. Why should I still be living? I should just die, and go to hell. Well thats apparently where I'm going if I die now. I totally have no comments on how she treats me. I can mever say anything. Fml. I can just cry the hell out but it doesn't solve it. I don't feel any much pleased and relieved. I feel more fucked up than I was before. What can I do?! :'(

Apparently...

Well, who'd hate holidays? No one. Me neither. Holidays are th only time when u can spend ur time, sleeping, eating, go out with frens and many more. Apparently, it doesn't work like that for me. I kinda hate holidays now... Well, atleast if i dont get the freedom to go out with my friends, its ok to go out with my family. Now, my mum's not talking to me, i cant go out, i cant spend so much time on com... Dont mention abt HER bringing me out. I feel lika stranger, like im in a jail or smtg. I dont whats my fault, but im getting th vold sholder for no apparent reason. Its been days. I dont know... I literally hate holidays now. So much. I dont know how imma survive nxt yr, with no longer holiday. DIE.

Still The Same...

Now, apart from having 'guy problems', i have... 'Mum problem'. Nothung seems to be right in her eyes. Totally. Every single thing that I do seemed wrong to her. I dont eat, im wrong. I dont watch tv often, im wrong. I do hw, im wrong. I play games, im wrong. I dont sit and talk to her, im wrong. Apparently, no matter what I do, IM WRONG! I dont know why but this have been going on eversince before sch holidays. Believe it or not, even going to sch on th last day is wrong. I dont get th idea. What does she want from me..? Recently, which is still happening NOW, she doesn't wanna talk to me. The reason being, i love to sit alone in my room. Wth man. So i have my own room, but im practically npt allowed to sit in my room, to do my hw?? Wow. How ironic can my mum be? I feels like I dont get to do what I want at home. I dont seem to be able tp step outta th house to spend time with my friends, and now I cant even spend my time on th computer more than 1 day... Is this sch holiday or 'the period where u move into th prison' kinda thing?! Gosh. Im getting sick of home already. I remembered how I used to love holidays. Now? Holidays are apparently th time where I kinda stay over in a prison...

Life?

Its been a long time since I posted smtg... Well... Life has been.... Cruel. Yes, cruel. For some reason, it doesn't seem to be nice to me. We all make friends. And sometime during that point, we find a guy/girl that interest us. Right? Well it happened that way for me... However, it didnt end like how i wanted it to be... When we were together, we used to talk abt being happy even after breakup. We used to say that 'lets not be enemies'. But yeahhh. Guys. Their words just kinda backfired when th actual time comes. He hated me when we broke up. After much that I endured from him, he hated me. What would u do if u found out ur bf have another gf behind ya? Probably break up, right? But I didnt. I gave him chances. Loads of them. Then he broke up with me. We patched again as he called me, crying early in th morning. I gave another chance. When I cant handle it any longer, I practically 'end' it. Thats th reason why he hated me. Not only that, he said many things, cruel things about me to his friends. And that he's doing all this for 1 reason. Its all because...... I was the one who broke up with him -.- okay fine. But really, do you have to say mean things about me, jerk?? I totally dont wanna hate u, but u asked me to... Well, be back next time. Gonna practically continue th story, if i want to...

Alpha Campers!!

Whoahh! Had such a great time at camp the last three days! Awesome campers, awesome facils, awesome activities and many other awesomeness... I just can't explain it in words... Haha... My friends are so cool too. Especially Karimah! I suddenly felt very close with her... Maybe, They're right. Camp is to bond with friends and teachers.... I bond with Karimah, Asyiqin and Alin... The camp experience was a great one. Now, I can communicate better with Karimah and the others. Karimah also goes around with me... We had such great time... We've never been like this before. Haha! So happy... Made new close friends... Haha. My facil is also awesome... Jonathan. He is the one 'teacher' who cares about every student in the group, RICH 18. He also cares abt me! In school, I have never been so well taken care of and been paid attention on. He encourages me to do my best during the camp. He also said he saw DYNASTY in me. Which also means Compassion. He said, I never give up even in pain... He knows that from the start when we met in the group... On our second day, we had campfire and my group had to perform a dance... We chose 'Forget You' as the song... Asyiqin and Robert choreographed the dance for us... The girls should partner the guys in the midst of the dance........ And I PARTNERED WITH JONATHAN!! Haha. Funny siaa his face. And when he knows he partnered me, he smiled and waved at me. Haha. We did really great during the dance. Karimah almost fell and and I forgot certain dance steps... Haha! We also sang many songs during the camp fire and all of us had a lot of fun! After the campfire, we gathered at the 'COMPASS' everybody always gathered... We had some interaction time... And also some chatting and games... One of the games we played was 'MRT'. The game was awesome and also painful... Haha. Jonathan was Pioneer, I was Sembawang, Karimah was Kembangan and there were many other stations... We played until some of them complained due to pain. We stopped and continued the next morning. Haha! Jonathan took note of my station and called me several times so I got hit. Haha! He just said I should be louder so people will acknowledge me. I do not need to be as nice. Just be polite and loud. That's all it takes. Haha. After that, we had breakfast and had some dorms check ups and also toilet clean ups. Nabilah and I volunteered to carry the rubbish to the big dustbin outside the camp area... Then we gathered at the 'COMPASS' again and had a dismissal session at the hall afterwards. I feel like crying cus at the hall, the facil leader said many sad things to us... We also had a final interaction time with our group facil. We have the thanking session and all. When I talk to Jonathan, I really felt like crying. He said, he learnt to be brave and courageous from me. He also said that he learnt not to give up from me during the trekking! Haha. When we were leaving, he said, 'Do not give up in life!' to me. How sweet can he be! I'm so happy to know him! It's just an unforgettable moment with the team, RICH 18!!!!!!!! Jonathan, friends, and other facil, I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

P.S. On our second night there, the girls received scolding from Yvonne, The head... It's about the girls toilet and some stupid girls who created a big mess!

Tired~~

Haiss... Tired... SOOOOOOO TIRED! Have been sleeping late for afew days. Been 5 days today. Hmmm. Wanna noe y? Well, Misteri Jam 12 is the main reason. Hehe. Have nothing better to do. Well, I realise I've become so much stronger ever since I listened to Misteri Jam 12. Normally, I do not have the guts to even listen just awhile. Lols. Many things have happen in life that made me scared but now I'm brave. Well Goodness. Hehe. Alhamdullilah Allah's Will. ;)