Alpha Campers!!

Whoahh! Had such a great time at camp the last three days! Awesome campers, awesome facils, awesome activities and many other awesomeness... I just can't explain it in words... Haha... My friends are so cool too. Especially Karimah! I suddenly felt very close with her... Maybe, They're right. Camp is to bond with friends and teachers.... I bond with Karimah, Asyiqin and Alin... The camp experience was a great one. Now, I can communicate better with Karimah and the others. Karimah also goes around with me... We had such great time... We've never been like this before. Haha! So happy... Made new close friends... Haha. My facil is also awesome... Jonathan. He is the one 'teacher' who cares about every student in the group, RICH 18. He also cares abt me! In school, I have never been so well taken care of and been paid attention on. He encourages me to do my best during the camp. He also said he saw DYNASTY in me. Which also means Compassion. He said, I never give up even in pain... He knows that from the start when we met in the group... On our second day, we had campfire and my group had to perform a dance... We chose 'Forget You' as the song... Asyiqin and Robert choreographed the dance for us... The girls should partner the guys in the midst of the dance........ And I PARTNERED WITH JONATHAN!! Haha. Funny siaa his face. And when he knows he partnered me, he smiled and waved at me. Haha. We did really great during the dance. Karimah almost fell and and I forgot certain dance steps... Haha! We also sang many songs during the camp fire and all of us had a lot of fun! After the campfire, we gathered at the 'COMPASS' everybody always gathered... We had some interaction time... And also some chatting and games... One of the games we played was 'MRT'. The game was awesome and also painful... Haha. Jonathan was Pioneer, I was Sembawang, Karimah was Kembangan and there were many other stations... We played until some of them complained due to pain. We stopped and continued the next morning. Haha! Jonathan took note of my station and called me several times so I got hit. Haha! He just said I should be louder so people will acknowledge me. I do not need to be as nice. Just be polite and loud. That's all it takes. Haha. After that, we had breakfast and had some dorms check ups and also toilet clean ups. Nabilah and I volunteered to carry the rubbish to the big dustbin outside the camp area... Then we gathered at the 'COMPASS' again and had a dismissal session at the hall afterwards. I feel like crying cus at the hall, the facil leader said many sad things to us... We also had a final interaction time with our group facil. We have the thanking session and all. When I talk to Jonathan, I really felt like crying. He said, he learnt to be brave and courageous from me. He also said that he learnt not to give up from me during the trekking! Haha. When we were leaving, he said, 'Do not give up in life!' to me. How sweet can he be! I'm so happy to know him! It's just an unforgettable moment with the team, RICH 18!!!!!!!! Jonathan, friends, and other facil, I LOVE YOU GUYS!!

P.S. On our second night there, the girls received scolding from Yvonne, The head... It's about the girls toilet and some stupid girls who created a big mess!

Tired~~

Haiss... Tired... SOOOOOOO TIRED! Have been sleeping late for afew days. Been 5 days today. Hmmm. Wanna noe y? Well, Misteri Jam 12 is the main reason. Hehe. Have nothing better to do. Well, I realise I've become so much stronger ever since I listened to Misteri Jam 12. Normally, I do not have the guts to even listen just awhile. Lols. Many things have happen in life that made me scared but now I'm brave. Well Goodness. Hehe. Alhamdullilah Allah's Will. ;)

Hospital...

TIRED! Super tired. Why am I like this? Why am I the one to face the challenges? Well, I have no idea either. Now, I have to go back and forth to the hospital. Good? Being absent and sick or have half-presence attendance in school is however, not good at all. Now, tell me, if it's good, in what way? Is it when your friends just constantly ignored you cus they are irritated by your absence? Or is it when you started to feel that you are a big pain to the family and a burden to your parents that you hate yourself? Well, let me tell you. It's not good at all. Both of this are not good at all. Nothing good about being sick. On the other side of facing all this, you have to face the constant pain that causes you to get irritated. In addition to this, you will start to worry about death and will go check this and that and to the limit is, thinking about cancer. When it's confirmed negative, you'll be thinking of other facts and illness. OH I'M SO TIRED!!!

~~EXAMS~~

OMG! Exams are coming... N I haven't had my books with me for revisions. Actually, I gave up. Thats y I didn't bring my books home... TTRRSS! Somebody better kill me b4 the exams!!;(
Hadn't revise on a single thing and a part from ten, I could only remember five. I used to be a challenge for Syiqin. Now, I'm nothing. Not even a rival to her. All becos of my illness. Being absent for afew days in a week destroys what U have been studying all the while. N when that day comes when U know u're gonna fail, U really feel like dying rite?? Haiss. I gave up and I chose to die. Y can't I die? Seriously. I wanna cry... WAIT! I'm already crying... TRRSS!! ;(

Gettin' on ma Nerves!

Irritating... Thats th word for her. I feel like smacking her face rite now! She IRRITATE me, AGITATE me, and FRUSTRATE me! Simple. She just sucks to th core! Heyy gurl,, trying to be cool huh?? Let me tell eu whts cool. When eu get suspension, scolding and screaming from both MY parents and urs, thts cool. For ME! Heyy, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BOTHER EU AND EUR BEHAVIOUR... Know why?? I HAVE MUCH BETTER THING TO DO AND ITS DEFINITELY MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN EU! Sooo, just walk off from my life... FAR ENOUGH kae gurl?? Thnx... ;P

Going to sch...

School...... Bored- when it comes to sch... But sometimes, it's fun than u can ever imagine... Like....... Frens can go crazy, irritating, shit, so on and so forth... This is what i'm gonna talk about... Been sick for a few days... So that also means, absence from school... Coming back, to feel really2 damn irritated wif some crazy girl in my class. I can't stay long cus i have to go home and pray and also eat my medicine. I tried to explain to her nicely. However, she doen't, in a way or another, understands malay, our former language. That also brings my deep down blaze out. She doen't-even noe that I'm hot-tempered like my parents. So, she made me- forced me to scream at her. OMG. That day was so horrible. She made me scream!! N I'm worned not to scream cus i have migraine!! EErrrghh! I really hate that girl ever since then... We never talked. She tried but i ignored. She spoke but I woke up and walked off... I really hate her. Who does she think she is?? Wait!! Before i continue, let me tell u why I'm really angry wif her... She insulted me. She said vulgarity to me... N yes, i have witnesses. 2. or even 3! Thats why... Ohkay. So that's th end of one chapter............................................... Next chapter- Irritating gurl! Few days going on well. No vulgarities. But............. An irritating gurl! She mess around wif th wrong gurl i tell u... She stole my frens. She talk abt me-bad ones, to my frens. She hangout wif my frens-cus she knows i wont stick by them if she was there... Then, one day, when my frens are gone, home, she talk to me. I was like "yaya" . Then suddenly, in a ridiculous voice, she said "kau berserakkan meja aku eh?? Bodoh!" Which means, did u mess up my table, idiot... I was so ablaze, i feel like screaming at her face!! I was not in sch for th whole week and back in Weds, n she said that?! I'm not even interested in her tables n books man! EErrgh! Ohkayy. Sooo, it's th end of Chapter 1&2... Chapter 3? Will come soon... Just see. after tomorrow. Returning to school after one week in hospital... ;)

Home

Home... I'm home. Since yesterday. Today, we're going to clean the house like hell. Super tired now!! My mum is making my sister move to the room at the back of the house. Sooo, I can have my peace and happiness. I can also have th space to study by myself. I'm tired of abuse. SUPER TIRED. So, my mum is taking action. The counsellor at the hospital said this too. Lee Kim Nai. I met her. She talked to me and my mum. After coming home, this is our new plan. Hahas. NVM. C ya next time. ;)

Hospitalized...

Been 4 days in this hospital, KK Women's and Childrens' Hospital. Nurses are good here. Well done. They made me feel good here. However, being here for too long doesn't feel tht good even if th nurses are kind and caring. I dun feel better here... Still th same me... I really do feel I'm a burden tro my parents. I feel tht I always create problems for them. My mum and dad is old. I dun wan to add their burden. But I just can't help it. I feel tht I'm better of dead. Sooooo, my parents won't have to worry on how to medicate me. Haiss. It's ok. Since I'm in th hospital, I do have alot of Medical Checks. So, bye bye...

School~ Still...

School~ Sec 2 now. Abit late isn't it? But it's ok, i guess... Haha. Things change in a blink of an eye. Weird. N shocking too. But, wht can i do? i can't change it like it used to be... It's ok. Studies aree okay. But.......... My health is not something good to talk about. It's ok. Class n frens is okay. But Fatin's not. Who cares?? I dun, definitely. Haha. Ok, not much to talk about... GTG now. Bye... <3