It's finally happened.

So 1.5 months passed since my last post, and Jax has finally left for Basic training. When we first talked about it, he thought that he'd be gone for roughly around two months, then he'll come back home for a short while before leaving for AIT. However, while talking on the phone and discussing about it while planning some stuff for us, he found out that he wouldn't have a break between basic and AIT (cause he's dumb lol) and so, 2 months became something that's almost 6 months. 6 months of not talking to the idiot.. I have to say, it's been really hard.

It's only been slightly over a week now, but it's driving me nuts. I miss him a lot and I keep texting him, sending him memes that remind me of him, sending him selfies and videos. It's crazy hahaha I feel kind of extra, but yeah. I really wish we could've talked more before he left though...

So a week before he left, Jax got into a rather depressive state. He was barely online, he barely slept, barely ate. He kept getting these weird, bad dreams about various things, me included. I didn't know how to help him because while he was having his episodes, I was having mine too. I couldn't tell him that, but I couldn't figure out how to help him either because he wasn't opening up to me. Apparently, according to the man himself, he resorts to shut down and isolation whenever he's facing huge changes in life.

Well.. I guess I could understand that. I tried, at least. It put pressure on me, on him, on us. We had fights, disagreements, we even almost broke up. Despite that, we worked it out and he stepped out of his breakdown almost a week after. He spent as much time as he could with me in the last few days, even when he was busy meeting his family and friends. Even in the days that he was recoiling into his shell, he still checked up on me and never failed to remind me that he loves me.

All that aside, we got over a few things since we started dating and we have grown quite a bit together, but I mean it's still a fairly new relationship lol. We've made a few plans for ourselves, like meeting up and stuff, so we'll see how that goes. I would say that this would be my first long relationship in years though. I really hope it lasts, but again, we'll see how it goes when he comes back. He'd probably be able to use his phone after Basic, when he's transferring from the training base to training school. It'll be great if it that's the case, but if not, we'd be dating for 7-8 months by the time he returns lmao.

Alright, I guess that's all from me for now. I promise I'll update more frequently. I kept forgetting that I have this blog to spill my thoughts, and that's why my posts are so irregular. Anyway, I'll share more cute stuff in my next post and also one good news! See y'all soon 💖

Finally back!

Yes, yes, it hasn't been three months. I came back earlier that planned due to some personal reasons with the hosts taking care of me. I didn't want to really take it to heart and was planning to overlook it, but I guess patience has a certain limit and mine reached the maximum. Anyway, it's all good because I've been doing well and my request was adhered accordingly. Here I am, home almost two weeks early.

So, where do I start? My sister got a new pet, a cute female cat named Matcha. She's really friendly and she definitely loves me. Like seriously, she's only really nice to me and my oldest niece, only playing with us and avoids the others lol. Well, I'm waiting for her little babies to arrive so I can have em to meself muahhahahaha.

Lots of things happened while I was away and after I came back. This post was half written a few days after I came back, but clearly I was too distracted to finish and post it. And let's all blame it on one amazing man that's been keeping be occupied every single day. Yes, I met someone. Well, he's an old friend that surprisingly managed to change his title in my life. He' my bestfriend and I'm proud to say that he is also my boyfriend. Let's just hope this time it finally works out and he ends up being more  than that because well.. he's made me feel things I've never felt with anyone. He's been treating me really well, even after we started dating. Yes, you might think "but that's normal and shit", but no it's normal for me. The pursuing and sweet flirting usually ends after the dating starts, but this time, it didn't. He's still doing  the shit he did to win me over and he made me kinda a priority in his life and honestly, it made me feel hella odd.

Well, to be fair, I don't have much to share about my December. I turned 22 on December 16th. That's also the day Jax and I started dating. It was hella cringy but it was really cute too. I don't know, maybe I'm just head over heels with the man at the moment. All I know is that I'm pretty blessed to have him in my life and I definitely didn't know what I was missing in my previous relationships until this one. He made me feel special, loved and very very wanted. It would really, really suck if I lost him, but that's life. I do hope this one stays though.

Okay I'm sure this is really boring. I have a ton of things to talk about the guy but I will spare you the details and just keep being happy for as long as I can. I do know I'm gonna be really depressed in 1.5 months when he leaves for the army though. I'll miss him so much and I won't even be able to do anything. Anywaaaaaay, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I started 2019 very differently from how I ended it, but I love how I started 2020. Let's pray and hope I get to end it just as amazingly or much, much better. Till next time, adios!

~Leoaica~