Strange Repetitive Cycle

Roughly another three weeks have passed. I'm still stuck on the Mec, for obvious reasons. I still love him and well, I never did get a proper closure from him, you see... He never answered my questions, so I'm much left hanging, despite the rather clean break-up. Though I guess I'm not shocked. When have men fulfilled their promises? When have MEC ever fulfilled his promises? I don't know what I was actually expecting from him. Oh well, time will heal all wounds and help me forget him, forget how I much time, energy and feelings I gave him.

Anyway, J and K broke up. Lowkey expected that, with how the dude was being with me, yknow? He wasn't even upset about it, mind you. He sounded very much relieved that he didn't have to think about it anymore. But he hasn't talked about us much further, but I guess it's because he's been really busy. I was even lucky to get a little bit of his time last night, but I don't have much hopes with him either. I feel like he's hiding something but I'm not entirely sure. I also don't think K would be happy to know he was actually harbouring feelings for me throughout the whole time they were dating. She'd be super upset. I mean, I would be too, if my boyfriend liked someone else while dating me. Either way, she's still pretty upset about him and well, J seems rather nonchalant about the entire thing.

And guess what, the ex came back into the  picture with again, not so shocking news. M told me he broke up with his girlfriend, blamed himself as usual, and suddenly started acting like how he did with me before again. A never-ending loop, if you ask me. We talked, has a rather strange moment last night, and then we were suddenly reminiscing our past relationship. What went wrong and how much we loved each other and how happy we were together. Then again, what is that conversation for, right? We ended it a long while ago and it's been a long time since then. We're almost at the one year mark of our friendship too, believe it or not. If we were still dating, we would've been dating for a year next month. IF, that is.

Anyway, I guess leaving without emotional attachments to anyone is the  best choice, I believe. I stopped missing people, stopped worrying about unnecessary stuff while I was there and I definitely stopped crying at random times. Of course, I can't fix my mood, but that's something that has been an issue  even when I'm home so it's nothing new. I don't know what else is going to happen in my life, since a short period of three weeks could change so much. It's been a rather confusing couple of months, but I guess Allah S.W.T removed Mec for a reason, despite my strong hopes that he would still be a part of my life. Maybe Allah is also trying to remove J and M slowly, but we'll see how it is.

For now, I'm going to have to excuse myself again as usual. Till next time - Paj out.